Bill Maher is my soulmate

And Paul Begala is awsome. "... look at George Bush, he's kind of disgraced me entire gender and ethnicity." I love it.

john.he.is

And that's a fact, yes it is!

as the saying goes ...

"If it's good enough to flush down my toilet, it's good enough for the city of San Antonio!"

They can get this industrious DIY-er to keep the plant smelling like roses!

tree frog

Australasian extinction fail

the next generation of music piracy?

Ushered in by the precedent-setting:
radio tower protection fail

it's about ... character

Namely, the character of the letter 'W'. I loved it at The Shrub's acceptance speech in 2004, the way they projected giant gold 'W's to flank the stage on both sides. The TV clips largely ignored them, but every so often when the camera zoomed out you can see them.

Bush's Victory Speech 2004 | Viral | SPIKE.com

All that propaganda and patriotism, those simplistic, single-color banners ("royal" blue?), barren except for a lone symbol, does remind me of an earlier time, of another "historic" moment. When was it? Where was it ... oh yeah!

Gosh, those were the days ...

And the Reps have the gall to call Obama just "a celebrity?" George's shrubbery hath extended even beyond a mere person, he's taken over an entire letter of the alphabet (and here is the store to prove it!).

vetting a veep

OK, there is obviously a lot of controversy over this Palin selection. One of my favorite micro-debates is on her family's right to privacy (as Obama may point out, Constitutional scholar that he is, there is no right to privacy guaranteed in the Bill of Rights, although maybe it should be included in order to offset the violation of the right to unlawful search and seizure that the government is allowed under the "Patriot" Acts).

Okay, to do what Reps despise and re-focus on the issue. McCain and the Reps are squealing over Palin's privacy, that how she rears her family has nothing to do with her fitness for public office. Ok, fine, but then please explain how the following examples fit:

The campaign says the form included such detailed questions as: Have you been faithful in your marriage? Have you ever paid for sex? Have you ever downloaded pornography? Have you ever used or purchased drugs?

Now, as far as I can tell, those are all questions on a candidate's morals. If it turns out that the candidate did use drugs, like Clinton, The Shrub, and Obama, it's okay to cite Palin's drug use. So if those examples of morals are okay, why not the family unit? If you've been divorced, and the politicians themselves use that as a screen for "fitness", then why can't the American public? And where are your morals displayed anywhere more so than your family unit? You're going to treat your spouse/children a lot closer to the morals you actually practice (by definition) than those you just preach. And that's why the Reps desperately want to present a (n often false) squeaky-clean moral facade that is above question, because the more you question, the more hypocrisy you find.

And don't even get me started on how Stewart pwnd Gingrich over the meaning of the word "decision." Fabulous.


And if you have the appetite for even more Palin hypocrisy ("she was for wasteful pork barrels before she was against them!", "she was for Alaskan independence ... and still probably is!"), have a gander. Brilliant.

what is the opposite of beer goggles?

Whatever you call this drink, lol.

Parkour (free running) = cool. Sport? Not really. Marial art? Hardly. Hardcore? A bit, but not nearly as much as swamp soccer!

the sad thing is

While we're debating global warming, it's already too late... the CO2 we've already admitted will remain in the atmosphere for decades (at least), and our overall emissions are not dropping yet, therefore we are going to continue adding to the cumulative amount of CO2 in the atmosphere for a long while after we notice the effects of global warming. Once you start seeing the effects, it is already bordering on being too late to do anything about the situation.

Batman: The Dark Knight

All the reviews are deservedly positive. I think Heath Ledger will be nominated for Best Supporting Actor, but I am skeptical he'd win (even though some people claim it's "not just a comic book movie" it's still a comic book movie!).

I thought Heath Ledger nailed the character of the Joker. I am not sure if it led to his inadvertent (or otherwise) OD on sleeping pills, but I find it difficult to believe that the role would have disturbed him so much. I mean, it is so far detached from a 'real' person that I can't see an actor having anything but gleeful fun with the role, since there are no character boundaries for the Joker's mania. Personally, I would've stayed another 2 1/2 hours in the theatre just watching his anti-social antics.

I was never that impressed with Jack Nicholson's portrayal, nor did I like the more campy screen adaptations of Batman in general. I grew up reading the comics and watching the fantastic animated series on WB that I always viewed Batman as a very dark/tormented character. I mean, the Joker killed how many Robins? I recall one was left to drown in a vat of acid!

OK, but enough reviewers have already fawned over Ledger's performance, and despite reading many of those reviews before seeing the film, I was still impressed. As for the rest of the cast, they were good, but not great. I like Bale as Batman, and he's also able to pull off Bruce Wayne quite convincingly (and all I can say is praise Jesus that Katie Holmes did not reprise her role from Batman Begins - her performance was so void it threatened to envelope part of the film!). Gary Oldman was really good. Aaron Eckhart was good, perhaps as good, maybe a little better, than Bale, but his character had to go through such a transformation ... the stakes were highest for his character, and I think that he fell just a little below what could have made his role as memorable as Ledger's. I think Dent wasn't edgy enough before his transformation, and that hindered the believability of Two-Face. Alternatively, his character could have shown more conflict/confusion post-transformation (I thought he too-readily accepted the Joker's manipulation).

There were also some minor logical/technical gripes, such as:

- how did the Joker escape from Bruce Wayne's benefit?
- how did Dent survive that limo car crash, unscathed to boot, after purposefully unbuckling his seat-belt (after shooting the driver)?
- the chase scene in the tunnel was poorly-shot (as many reviewers have commented).

There were a few other minor things I noticed ... if I remember I'll write them, but for now that's all I got.

Media Reviews

I'm going to start reviewing all the films I watch and books I read, more for the benefit of my own memory than anything else.

failure alert!

Bush fails again. What, did he look into Medvedev's "soul" as well, the fucking retard? Not that his failure matters, since he neither reads the news or listens to anyone but his parroting yes-men lackeys. The "CEO" President couldn't be any more apt in prescribing exactly his idiotic shortcomings.

still a lame excuse

... rationalizing stupidity doesn't make it any less stupid or any less a person's choice. It's the 'everyone else jumped off a bridge' argument, except in this case it's 'everyone else around me appeared to make superficial choices, so I took that to mean I didn't have to think through my own actions ..." SHEEP!

In other news, yay for freedom! haha I wonder if they use the same argument for freedom of speech as they do for the definition of porn: "I'll recognize a breach of your civil liberties when I see one."

the face of tyranny in Zimbabwe

Stunningly brave. I bet the Guardian helped pay for his extrication. Heck, with Zimbabwe's inflation, they probably bought first class tickets for him and his family to Tahiti!

I'm OK to dwive, honesht
In other news, researchers at the University of Michigan claim that the nearly-insignificant difference in crash statistics between two equally stupid systems for the legal drinking age finds that one severely stupid system is only slightly less idiotic than the other.

Stunning amounts of time and money were exerted, and no one mentioned the pink elephant in the room: make the legal drinking age LOWER than the legal driving age, and you'll have less drunk-driving accidents. This proposition appears counter-intuitive only to idiots, which is why the US has not adopted it.

a bad PR day in biofuels
Is there no such thing as bad PR? I would think a "secret" report by the World Bank on the economic damage being caused by biofuels would be considered, um, pretty bad.

Most people are not going to blame the terrible choices of biofuel feedstock which have been made (corn ethanol is bullshit, and clearing virgin rain forest for palm oil is even more putrid bullshit). What will stick in people's minds is the massive spike in food prices attributed (largely) to these ridiculously inefficient or improperly deployed crops.

The only silver lining? At least the report makes Bush look bad! :o)

hire marx four being emfatik!

In a way, the teacher could be implying that maybe the room was such a shithole it deserved an exclamation mark!

I don't think the examiner was being broad-minded enough. Maybe "room" could be taken in the global, socio-economic sense as "room to grow." I mean, on the one hand, some plunderer's are getting rich exploiting and enabling the Chinese regime. On the other, not everyone takes such action lying down.

I would've asked for more clarity from the youth on which stance he was against.

How do you say 'hallelujah' in Martian?

Is it holy water? I'm waiting until the Martian bacteria accept their Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, into their tiny microbial hearts.

a typical day in the office

The threat of "inadvertent" nuclear apocalypse keeps us sharp!

Good to know we haven't backed away too far from the brink!

And the every-pressing question, has Hiroshima become too normal?

idle talk

A good article on the benefits of turning off your car instead of letting it idle.

school-shooting drive-by?

Next one that happens, you know you can blame Obama!

apoplectic

Now this is a word I like! The Dictionary.com definition is more technical, but Merriam-Webster's captures the modern usage very succinctly:

apoplectic

1: of, relating to, or causing stroke
2: affected with, inclined to, or showing symptoms of stroke
3: of a kind to cause or apparently cause stroke (an apoplectic rage); also : greatly excited or angered (was apoplectic over the news)

nerdkore

Ewe ar such a NERD!

In the land of the recently freed from prison

"They hate us for our freedom."

Yes, King Shrub, that and our peace-loving way of life, lol.

Make-mud Ahma - Ajabadah .. babajabadah ... goo-goo, ga-ga

In another conspiracy of non-reporting by devil-worshipping, gay liberal abortionist baby-raping Western capitalist-whore journalists, Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad was actually correct when he stated there were no homosexuals in Iran. That is true. They have all fled elsewhere to seek asylum, lol.

taser-on-taser violence

See, after the Virginia Tech shootings, some people thought the only solution was to better arm teachers. I agree. Giving weapons to inadequately trained civilians is, in general, an effective deterrent from deadly violence. In fact, the only solution to most violent confrontations is more violence. It's not like easy access to weaponry can escalate otherwise innocuous situations into a life-or-death struggle, people simply don't behave that way. People are nearly always rational and react in proportion to the affront dealt them.

Take this case for instance. The only clear solution to this horrible display of taser-on-taser violence is more tasers. Imagine if the van had a taser how much easer of a time it would've had defending itself against both men and short-circuiting their violent intents altogether. Why are lawmakers so blind to such obvious, simple, eminently workable solutions? Goddamned left-wing conspirators ... if we left it to the crazy Belgians, we'd all have drowned in our own impotence already.

You know, we always seem to come to an impasse in this country when it comes to guns. I believe we, as Americans, should just stick to the things we know how to do and do well, like teaching people how to drink responsibly.

(and drive even better - I wonder if the two are related?)

why they hate us, part 1 trillion

Hmmm ... a trillion for wanton destruction, and a paltry 1 billion (promised aide feeds no mouths) for helping people eat.

What was that about hearts and minds? Apparently there is no space in the agenda for stomachs. I mean, how could anyone truthfully assert that we have our priorities anywhere but in exactly the right place? It's not like the haves try to instigate the have-nots. However, to be fair, people have actually done the acts depicted, and in the name of Islam. So why do people get so offended by the replaying of facts? These things happened. It is offensive to Muslims to blame all Islam because of the acts of a few, this is true, but this is also known as freedom of speech. We give you the freedom to worship whatever you like, a freedom which many Islamic countries do not have, and you cannot choose your freedoms piecemeal - they come as a set, take them all or leave them all.

secondary intelligence

Very clever indeed - much more clever than using contraceptives. How did the mother not notice her daughter was pregnant? That's kind of a difficult thing to hide, even if you are tubby.

the decider

So first he tells our enemies to bring it on, then he blames the servicemen for his televised premature ejaculation (of 'victory') bullshit media stunt.

This is the behavior of a "war-time" President? Not in living memory ...

This just in!
Iraqis everywhere are bathing in the sweet smell of victory!

Ave Ma-lmfao

I had trouble deciding whether to add this to my YouTube playlist as "comedy" or "music" ... when the wind catches his papal ... whatever that thing is on his shoulders, he looks like a cute little white Nazi eagl- dove, like a peace-loving, non-anti-aircraft firing Hitler youth dove.

canufacturing monsent

This is how we do.

not so crazy after all

Rudy Giuliani was one of the few who defended Barack Obama when he rattled the sabre in Pakistan's direction. Turns out the US military also seems to think that the junior senator from Illinois isn't so crazy after all.

what're role models for?

I'd be willing to bet that she was Karl Rove's!

holy ... living ... g-o-d

NSFW (in some parts of the world only - I love living in Europe!)


Keeley Hazell Nude Photo Shoot - Click here for more amazing videos

a varied agglomeration of schnitzels

St Peter? Nah, I won't be coming up after all ...
Great to know that the namesake of the Zell-Lurie Institute is engaging the great satan! Here's a tip to budding entrepreneurs - don't let morals get in the way of profit, that's bad business.

Yo, what can I get for this bling?
Invest in pwnage! I think classifying pawn shops "financial stocks" is a stretch by anyone's imagination, lol.

Shell-outs to the Sell-outs
Fuck the pittance checks GWB sends. How can people be so stupid as to think those help?

Too high-class for Florida?
Nothing says I fuck my cousin/sister/uncle's goats like having sack hanging from your bumper. How does a gun-store owner claim any moral authority in this? I also love how one of the Republicans had "truck nutz" on his vehicle, lmfao.

50 first shots
See, he just kept forgetting due to the short-term memory loss induced by too many Adam Sandlar movies. If they made 50 repeated, unnecessarily deadly mistakes, shouldn't they at least be forced to apologize 50 times? How unjust that they only had to apologize once! Unfair!

Buying votes, selling souls
I love that we're being patronized by our own government, receiving token amounts of money in order to placate the masses and/or coerce them into frivolous spending. Bang on, that's exactly what we need more of! "Hey, we drove this car into a ditch going 100mph, I say we gun the throttle until we hit 120, that should help immensely!"

won't you be my neighbor?

I is so hongrie.

Karmapa Number 17, come on down!

I can't bear the suspense of Karmapan Idol: is Ugyen Trinley Dorje the 17th reincarnation, or is Trinley Thaye Dorje? I hope that Ugyen does turn out to be a Chinese spy, that'll add a much-needed, tearful dramatic twist to the long-running series!

TiVo-me, baby!
Another, highly unlikely explanation could be that people realized there was a reality beyond the glowing screen, that that reality could be even more interesting than cyclic, predictable programming, and that they didn't need constant, mind-numbing entertainment to fill every dreary moment of their inane lives ... but I doubt that very much.

danrom

What can I say, I won't vote for McCain. I can't help it, I'm just a single-issue voter, and he just doesn't do it for me. Once you go green, there's no going back!

Today, I felt like I was dressed like a bum.

a voiceless instrument

I bring you a voiceless instrument.
I strained to reach a note which was
too high in my heart, and the string broke.
While masters laugh at the snapped cord,
I ask you to take my lute in your hands
and fill its hollowness with your songs.

[from Rabindranath Tagore's The Fugitive]

so what?

[our government released new theme song for data privacy]

And I've had scag
I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you

for rizzle?

Seriously, are these the best attacks the right can muster? "Your grandpa was a good-for-nothing, from which it logically follows that you are weak on national security." What a load of boogers.

It's only 6 months until the election, and they're already grasping at straws? This bodes very well for the Democrats, especially if Obama is the nominee.

The kicker - since Obama's mom died of cancer, the Right is barred from making any "yo momma" slams. Doesn't that suck! Time to hire new talking heads.

untruth!

CNN reports a "darker" side to loveable Audrey Tatou.
Wrong - this isn't her first flirtation with the dark(er) side.

hackers target epileptics

That just sounds like an odd list of enemies: eBaum, Scientology, and epileptics. How do they decide who to attack, create random word generators and pick the top 3 coherent results?

turn back the clock

on women's rights! lol

do not pass 'go'

In fact, don't even pass near your local elementary school. That's a great tactic with some gaping holes - I sure hope accidental clicks don't send FBI agents on false alarms (I'm sure there has to be some kind of pattern to the activity). Also, that'd be a really nasty way to mess with someone - send them a virus that clicks on such links repeatedly and have the FBI raid the target's home.

Interesting stuff you find buried in the news sometimes ...

4000 and counting

Nice milestone. I especially like how nearly one-fifth of the fatalities aren't even the result of enemy action. "Bring it on," indeed, Mr. Bush. I guess Clinton was Eisenhower's exception, because this is exactly the type of unfounded, false machismo that most true military men avoid. Paid off nicely for Bush's business associates though, that's for sure.

So if a veteran see others giving George W. Fucknuts the finger, will he feel better? Doubtful ...

it's the environmentalism, stupid

Finally, programs are starting to target consumers' wallets. These are the types of programs that will really make a difference.

apparently it's tradition

I was somewhat taken aback by the popularity of Bjorn Borg apparel abroad, but I didn't know that the premiere brand (which, incidentally, I vehemently dislike) Lacoste was also founded by a tennis champ.

2008 Bullshit Awards

Multivariate analysis of exit-polls indicate this is a shoe-in to win:

“Collectors actually care about consumers,” said Rozanne Andersen, general counsel of ACA International, the main industry trade group. “They want to teach consumers how to get out of debt. They’re trying to put themselves out of business.”

So the industry is trying to put itself out of business? lol Are the people running the debt collection agencies aware of this? Apparently not, as the next paragraph illustrates:

If so, they are doing a poor job. So many people are in so much debt that the government says bill collecting is one of the fastest-growing businesses. By 2016, employment in it is projected to exceed half a million workers, up 23 percent in a decade.

Instead of making the big loan sharks pay, the US has once again decided to squeeze the middle class yet again. Brilliant strategy.

“Why not set an example of Bear Stearns, the guys who have this record of dog-eat-dog, we’re brass knuckles, we’re tough?” asked William A. Fleckenstein, president of Fleckenstein Capital in Issaquah, Wash., and co-author with Fred Sheehan of “Greenspan’s Bubbles: The Age of Ignorance at the Federal Reserve.” “This is the perfect time to set an example, but they are not interested in setting an example. We are Bailout Nation.”

We are? We bail who out? Not the hardworking people that need it most (unless you work at the Big 3, but that's technically a buyout). You know who's not affected by any of this? The super-rich. I love the false precision here:

“When a yacht is over 328 feet, it’s so big that you lose the intimacy,” says Tork Buckley, editor of The Yacht Report. “On the other hand, you’ve got bragging rights. No question, that’s a very strong part of the motivation.”

Yes, if the yacht is 327 feet, it's extremely intimate (like a twin bed). However, at 329 feet, you lose sight of the bow over the horizon, and so it becomes far less intimate (like a king bed). I am so glad I have 'experts' around to tell me how to judge mega-yachts - I'd feel so lost in my overwhelming debt without such guidance.

So the lesson is: if you are rich or powerful enough, you can make any excuse you want and people will buy it. If you're one of those unfortunate "little people" who have to pay taxes and fend off debt collectors, your excuses fall on deaf ears. Whether its financial markets or the environment, everyone knows there is no reward in leading by example. So people shy away from doing so at every opportunity.

political spin crash lands

If it were anywhere but America, this would be unbelievable. A couple choice juxtapositions.

First, when you read this:

Rep. James Oberstar, D-Minnesota, who heads the committee and who has called the situation "one of the worst safety violations" he has ever seen, is scheduled to hold a hearing April 3 to ask why the airline may have allegedly put its passengers in danger.

that's the editor talking, not your brain. Whither journalistic ethics? Whose interest is CNN trying to protect with that phrasing? Its own. The lawyers probably said you have to avoid making a claim, even though saying "put its passengers in danger" is an accurate description, seeing as how the laws are there to minimize the risk, and in this instance Southwest's negligence increased that risk. That's called "the truth" and what the journalists are doing is increasing the distance between you and it.

For those of you for whom English is a first and only language, another word for "risk" is "danger." The business-savvy right-wing media doesn't want to scare you about your potential death due to corporate negligence (it's too busy pushing ethnic stereotypes. 2 black guys, 1 white girl, and no cups in sight. I mean, you don't even have to say 'rape' and the idea of them going necro appears in more than half of white Amerikaz minds).

Anyway, back to the business of manufacturing consent (in this case, apathy toward your mortality, as opposed to that of the self-serving, self-perpetuating military-industrial-congressional complex (which also happens to be heavily invested in journalism). See, the word "risk" sounds like a financial term, it's been depleted of its more visceral connotations by the false fortunes of the stock market, which people already don't understand, so the ambiguity of that word is compounded by the syntactical obfuscation of the preceding sentence fragment.

So if you're a media-savvy CEO being lightly grilled by an incompetent, unethical journalist, take notes:

"We were surprised yesterday to get that notification by the FAA as well. The Wall Street Journal yesterday reported as late as last month the FAA said that it had no safety issues with Southwest Airlines."

You get that? Yesterday, a newspaper, in no way connected to the aviation industry (and now owned by safety guru Rupert Murdoch) reported that "a month ago" (also known as: before these safety violations were made public), the FAA said something noncommittal about Southwest Airlines ... (he said, she said, but the WSJ said it was safe!). So if the planes crash, are families going to seek damages from the WSJ for libel, for creating a false impression of safety? Idiots.

This is the equivalent of George Bush standing at Ground Zero and saying "this site is safe because I read last week in my briefing that the CIA did not consider the WTC at serious risk from terrorists."

Yes, I realize that some people without glazed-over sheep-eyes (unfortunately not enough) might pick up on such bullshit, but if they say anything they'll be labeled liberal commies and they'll give up b/c it's just some paperwork regarding some perfunctory air safety check, and those checks are so burdensome in these hard times, with airlines struggling to find extra losses from which to pay executives' their undeserved bonuses. Really, I know 113 people who'd disagree with such sentiments, if they were alive to share them. All it takes is a small bit of passion, combined with awareness.

It is in no way outrageous to be outraged by Southwest's negligence.

that's progress

So, let me get this straight. Almost since he got into office, Bush has done everything in his power to underfund the EPA, undercut their existing legislation, and enacted powder-puff, feel-good, political capitalistic bullshit (everyone remember "Clean Skies"? yeah? Remember how the critics said that it wasn't even going as far as the Clean Air Act would go if it were enforced?). Then, they actually nudge standards up a bit, not as far as they should go, give counties an extraordinarily lenient timeline to comply (when many still haven't complied with 80's-era regulations), and label it progress.

That's life!

Oh, and when it's not "progress" per se, then it's called the business cycle (as if it were as natural as geese migration). Companies consolidate to broaden horizons, expand opportunities, diversify their portfolio. Then they consolidate to focus on core values, spinning off businesses. Then new businesses start up, either growing fast in the vacuum left by consolidation or being eaten by the bigger corporations. It's all cyclical, and it's all artificial, and it has about the same intrinsic value as the fashion cycle (bell-bottoms today, corporate mega-banks in the future). Think of all the capital (human, time, actual money, infrastructure, etc.) wasted because big companies can't keep their operations tidy and small companies have to clamber up the corporate food chain to compete. The advancement of civilization is not accomplished through turnover, and "new ideas" shouldn't only come about through waste.

There are better ways if only people would think more often.

movin' on up!

in the star scale. I'm all for playing Frogger with the Earth's orbit and dodging potentially extinction-level-event-inducing comets and asteroids!

Welcome to the new world order

... of institutionalized incompetence.

Will the card contain on it my musical preferences, linked to my credit/debit cards, for easy and convenient purchases from online music retailers (the content accessed through my registered mobile communications device, of course!)?

Incompetence, redux
I'm so glad that our military-industrial-congressional complex monkeys have evolved to the point, in 2007, that things like building something to specifications, while being courteous, is viewed as a "bold move," lol. Fucking idiots. The people whining about Boeing are just as stupid as the idiots around Detroit and other car manufacturing hubs that cry about keeping American jobs by buying American cars. If you FUCKING MORONS would just look under the hood of the vehicles in question, you would see that your precious "American-made" automobiles have roughly the same percentage of components made outside the United States (Canada, Mexico, Brazil) as the "foreign" competition. In fact, some foreign car companies (e.g., Toyota) manufacture entire vehicles in the United States just to appease America's stone-age nationalistic proclivities.

Institutionalized bigotry
I also enjoy how this article conveniently excludes the 2000 race, where Bush was able to undermine McCain by suggesting he had fathered an illegitimate black child.

Institutionalized apathy
I don't know ... ever since the government increased the dosage of Prozac in the local drinking water supply, I find myself fretting far less over the current global destruction of the oceans.

no absolutes

Everyone always talks about emissions per person. Sure that's one way to make it more relevant to people, but at the same time, the Earth doesn't really care because objectively there is a certain amount of CO2 released regardless of the number of passengers on a trans-atlantic flight!

preach on, brother!

So true!

I hope they didn't goof and cite the soldiers' BMIs, which should be higher than the average citizens'.

I was SO right!

CentACS reports that "studies show that the length of sleep is not what causes us to be refreshed upon waking. The key factor is the number of complete sleep cycles we enjoy. Each sleep cycle contains five distinct phases, which exhibit different brain- wave patterns. For our purposes, it suffices to say that one sleep cycle lasts an average of 90 minutes:

* 65 minutes of normal, or non-REM (rapid eye movement), sleep
* 20 minutes of REM sleep (in which we dream)
* Final 5 minutes of non-REM sleep.

FAIL

What the fuck, I know fashion comes in cycles, but how can people be so dumb again, almost within the same generation? Certainly most of the higher-up corporate lapdogs were around in the 1970s to witness this exact same event.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

PS - doesn't anyone know cute, fluffy puppies are just Jihadist-terrorists-in-waiting? How can you be so naive?

the endless mirror

Jesus Christ. I know pop culture, like fashion, moves cyclically, but for God's sake must it be so blatantly derivative?

I think Lindsay can be pretty hot at times, but she looks ridiculous in those photos. Unattractive. Maybe she should've gotten drunk, that couldn't have hurt.

Oh well. At least American tabloids aren't the most distorting lens with which we can view reality. Lohan isn't just a star, or a megastar, she's a freakin' galaxy, lol.

ultimate 'your mom' joke

You simply cannot beat this.

Why, because she's German?

No, because she's your mom!

when $49,000,000 is not legit enough

Go to MSU, see Dubai.

Sounds like a better deal than getting a degree from there! Oh Snap!

Can I write off the purchase?

My doctor wecommended Wii-hab for my chronic condition.

vindication anyone?

Britney finally deemed unfit to live on her own!

killing in the name of (electrical modernity)

I'm firmly in support of thermo-nuclear power. Dangerous? Not nearly so much as people believe, and it doesn't even hold a candle to coal.

China has the world's most dangerous mines, and the government has closed thousands of small mines since 2006 in an effort to reduce fatalities by consolidating the industry into larger, more efficient operations. Last year, the number of mining fatalities dropped by one-fifth to 3,786 deaths, still the highest figure in the world. [according to the IHT]

Granted, China is pretty bad from all safety aspects (if I had to bet money on the next nuclear plant disaster, "somewhere in China" would be my first choice).

What? Athletes complaining about steroids in Chinese food? Heck, I won't even touch chicken unless it's been irradiated and has at least 3 head-like growths! I think in the 2008 Olympics, what the world will see is a 2^nd-world country trying desperately (and mostly superficially) to be considered part of the traditional First World.

That's not a knock against China per se, I think they have every right to get there, but I think the speed at which they are trying is going to leave the internal workings of the country as hollow as the old Soviet attempt (and current Russian attempt) to do the same. These things take time to be done right, and even the West still has hiccups similar to the recent cold-weather-induced transportation fiasco this Lunar New Year.

Then again, how can China succeed when the crazy, left-wing, liberal, pinko-commie Western Media^TM is hell-bent on destroying their propaganda? Heck, even Adolf never had it this bad. Poor Rupert - it seems all his travails to placate the Chinese just keep falling up short - damn that villainous Grey Lady! Damn her straight to hell!

Double-duh

Captain Obvious has struck again!


When was the last time real median incomes increased? Not for a long, long time now, during an administration far, far away ...

(PS - I know the above graphic from the Detroit Free Press is not entirely correct, but it's just meant to be a visual illustration)

Duh-vos

I'm continually amazed at how idiotic arguments are not only respected, they actually carry intellectual weight!

His proposed remedy: a code of conduct. "I'm baffled by why SWFs don't get together and put an end to all this discussion by agreeing on some piece of paper that says: We're under no circumstances going to speculate in currencies; we're always going to be a long-term investor; we're never going to use our SWF to pursue any political objective."

The SWF managers protested, as one, that since they had never engaged in any of the activities that Summers expressed concern about, there was no reason to try to regulate them so. "You're talking about how to pre-emptively regulate something that may happen," said Muhammad Al Jasser of Saudi Arabia.

Yes, we are talking about pre-emptive regulation - you don't wait for sovereign fund to exercise political control and then try to legislate, that's just retarded (even if it is the status quo). What's even more amusing is that if these funds already are not engaging in these activities, they they're already compliant with the proposed code of conduct! Oh, wait ...

"We've had a lot of resistance to regulating the hedge funds, and the rating agencies, even though there were failures galore. So, let's be a little bit more balanced." Touché! Kristin Halvorson of Norway responded that while Norway would appreciate having some common rules, the hypothetical examples Summers cited "would never be possible in Norway."

Summers responded with an anecdote about how the Norwegian fund had sold short the shares of Icelandic banks, and the potential political complications those actions raised.

Yes, capitalism in the end does mean we're all just greedy fucks making a beast with [green]backs.

the crux of my problem with capitalism

It's like that Al Pacino quote in The Devil's Advocate,

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch - he's a prankster. Think about it. He give man instinct. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do? I swear for His own amusement, His own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!

In order for capitalism to work, you have to weight the incentives appropriately with respect to the outcomes. You don't want rogue traders? Penalize them so they are ruined, no the company (e.g., Barings). Although I am heartened to see that the dehumanizing corporate machine can still be damaged/destroyed by the actions of a single human being, for it signifies that all is not yet lost, it doesn't have to be like this. (That the dehumanizing corporate machine played a role in motivating them to hide their losses longer, and probably also tinged their feelings with more maliciousness than the news media will report, is a debate for a much longer entry.)

There is a very simple reason why corporate types never "learn": you want companies in dangerous industries to be safe and stop killing people? Set the financial incentives such that death carries such an unwieldy burden that companies will avoid it at literally any cost. Want people to stop polluting? Make it financially inconvenient. Since corporations are legally bound to seek profit, only those incentives that damage their profits (existing, or the ability to generate more) will be heeded. Stop treating inconveniences as "externalities" or think that lifecycle analyses are attempts to boil the ocean - if you penalize for noncompliance, it shall be done!

It is that simple.

complaint department, ground floor

I can't imagine what the denizens of an autocratic island paradise could possibly have complained about. Actually, the complaints sound like something out of high school, which might actually be a pretty good argument for the style of life there.

we heart Pakistan

Does this article ever give me confidence in our "allies" in Pakistan:

Kidwai said any decision on using a nuclear weapon would rest with the 10-member National Command Authority chaired by the president, "hopefully by consensus but at least by majority." The decision would be conveyed to the Strategic Plans Division and then through the military chain of command.

Kidwai acknowledged that two Pakistani nuclear scientists had met with Osama bin Laden in Kandahar, Afghanistan, during the rule of the Taliban regime. But a three-month investigation held after the Sept. 11 attacks on America had cleared the two men and established "nothing dangerous had happened."

So not only does it only take six (6) Pakistani officials to decide to launch a nuke, these same officials don't believe that meeting with Osama bin Laden constitutes danger! Seriously, what the fuck?

was it all slimy when it arrived?

snail mail earns its nickname!

So they can take the time to calculate a snail's trek, but they can also die flying to an air safety meeting? Does not compute!

Fans of information conveyance methodologies, rejoice!

awesome!

Awesome: redux! (this is also cool - another take on the below)

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

Hemingway quotes.

Agree: "All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened."

Yes! "That is what we are supposed to do when we are at our best - make it all up - but make it up so truly that later it will happen that way."

Me too: "All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time."

Concur: "All our words from loose using have lost their edge."

Disagree: "All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn."

weeping

I felt extremely sympathetic to the plight of our nation's insurers when I read how they've struggled in the wake of 9/11 and Katrina. I mean, how terrible is this?

The loss ratio for property-casualty insurance companies, or the percentage of premiums paid out to policyholders as benefits, was 54.6 percent last year, according to the study, up from 53.3 percent in 2006 but far below the 75 percent level of the late 1980s.

The study — based on insurance industry data and companies' financial reports — estimates that the insurance industry's net income after taxes in 2007 will be $65 billion, down from the record $67.6 billion set in 2006 but above 2005's $48.8 billion.

I can understand how emotional someone can get over those numbers.

"The absence of any major storm or earthquake has allowed insurers to post two modestly profitable years. But it wasn't long ago, 2004 and 2005, when our industry suffered record natural-catastrophe losses," Marc Racicot, president of the American Insurance Association, said in a statement.

Certainly our incompetent government is partly to blame for this travesty.

Insurace companies have received about $4 billion in subsidies, the report says, since the federal Terrorism Risk Insurance Act took effect in November 2002 after insurers' costs from the Sept. 11 attacks hit $32 billion. The backstop under the act, in which the government agrees to reimburse insurers up to $100 billion in the event of another attack by foreign terrorists, was extended for another seven years under legislation enacted by Congress last month and signed into law by President Bush.

I mean, on top of all of this you have completely frivolous claims - how is one to cope? I'm surprised the insurers even stay in business.

No Wonder They Hate Us: Part 151,000 (and counting)

This is definitely a lowball estimate. I mean, some of the people trying to count the death toll ended up in the morgue!

Oh, and no matter the tactics, remember: Iraq isn't just a pure numbers game, it's about winning the hearts and minds of the broader Muslim community. We can achieve that simply by our disregard for international treaties and conventions, which illustrates that we have bigger guns (dicks) than any other nation and we are more willing (gay) to shove said weaponry down any opposition's throats (die, sandniggaz, die!).

My favorite tidbits:

To Jordan's offense [um - shouldn't that be "defense"?]
Maj. Kris Poppe, Jordan's attorney, said he argued that Jordan "faced these very serious charges for a long period of time, that he had been found not guilty of any offense related to the abuse of detainees, and that he had a stellar record."

Yes, that is significant because as we all know the statue of limitations is a very important matter in torture - just ask those 80-something Nazi war criminals how grateful they are that the minds of the world have forgotten their acts.

Rowe agreed. [no shit] "In light of the nature of the offense that Jordan had been found guilty of committing and the substantial evidence in mitigation at trial and in post-trial matters submitted by defense counsel, Rowe determined that an administrative reprimand was a fair and appropriate disposition of the matter," Joanna P. Hawkins, a military spokeswoman, said in a statement.

I mean, how serious of an offense is offending a suspected terrorist? It ranks right below a raspberry and just above giving someone's tongue a paper cut if I recall my CIA world torture guidebook correctly ...

Jordan: 'I'm gratified and glad'
"I'm still a little bit shocked by it all, but I'm gratified and glad that Gen. Rowe saw it for what it really is," he said. "I don't know if any officer needed to be held accountable, but I obviously don't believe it should have been me."

Obviously, since the accountability of decision-makers for horrible decisions is what makes Bush so popular in the US. Why shouldn't it be the same for the rest of the world - being so envious of our 'freedoms' after all, they should be ecstatic! Aren't all mens hearts and minds created equal in the eyes of our vengeful Christian God?

I've got yer ABM treaty right here!

Any wonder why Putin's anti-Western posturing is so popular among the majority of Russians? To wit:

Clinton did not venture into the Middle East to bring his stature to bear on negotiations between the Israelis and the Palestinians until his second term. His administration refused to submit the UN Kyoto Protocol on climate change for ratification and did not support the new International Criminal Court. But Clinton's charm and persuasion helped to shield America from criticism.

The Bush administration continued these policies, using a much blunter tone. It unilaterally withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty it signed with the former Soviet Union in 1972, which forbade the testing and deployment of a ballistic missile defense system. It signed a pact with India, supporting its nuclear weapons program, which further undermined the nuclear nonproliferation treaty.

Yet when President Vladimir Putin of Russia suspended participation in the Treaty on Conventional Armed Forces in Europe last month, there was an outcry by the United States and the Europeans. They cast Putin as a potential spoiler of the post-Cold War order, ignoring what Washington had done earlier.

So far, neither Republican nor Democrat candidates have suggested returning to the ABM treaty.

holy tubs of lard, Batman!

How can people be so dumb? We're not sheep, we're cud-chewing cows. A couple highlights.

"Many obesity studies have shown that, in developed countries, the less educated you are, the more likely you are to become obese." = you're dumb

"She couldn't explain why her weight had got to this extreme point, but suggested to me that being born premature may have been a factor." = you're fucking stupid. Here's an explanation: you consumed more calories than you expended. It ain't yo momma's fault, it's fucking YOURS!

it's all downhill from there

LMFAO!

Lip service to South Africa’s new kissing law:
Teens express outrage with public displays of affection

"We're young. We need to experiment," Natalie Winston, 12, said before the protest here. "When you're 21, you're old already, and ugly."

Obviously this naive young lady has never seen a porn film (and should, post-haste!). Or underwear models. Or women in general, lol. I love the added insult of "and ugly," at the end, that's really high class!

bredia mainwashing

What are the odds? How can people be so seriously paranoid?

again, the myth of the liberal media

I could go on for many pages, but this example sums up the argument nicely:

Thus, in 1994, Time celebrated the Republican victory in the midterm elections by putting a herd of charging elephants on its cover. But its response to the Democratic victory of 2006—a victory in which House Democrats achieved a larger majority, both in seats and in the popular vote, than the Republicans ever did in their 12-year reign—was a pair of overlapping red and blue circles, with the headline "The center is the place to be."

Remember George W. and his "mandate"? Bush won essentially by one state (Ohio, which I believe could have easily been rigged). In contrast, when Clinton was unquestionably demolished Dole in 1996 for re-election (supposedly as the Republicans were surging in popularity), he never made the same type of grandiose statement about the power vested in him.

This is why I always feel like the Democrats play nicer/more humbly at politics than (and get burned harder for it by) the Republicans. I also find it ironic that Republican candidates of extremely dubious experience (Reagan) are touted as heroes, yet candidates like Clinton (and Obama especially) are consistently questioned about their experience. Why isn't the same standard applied to the likes of Mitt Romney - what experiences make him any better suited for President than Clinton? Than Obama? Because he wants to 'double' Guantanamo? Morons.

Of course, the conservative counter-argument is that the ones in power shouldn't gloat, lest they reveal their power and suffer the wrath of the misled public. But wait, do the Reps take their own advice? See above.

Managers can innovate

and this proves it!

Another example, possib leavin' fun near.

No further proof needed - this discussion is closed.

A dead mouse is a joke!

Seriously! Just laugh it off. What is wrong with people?

Apparently a lot more than I ever would've imagined, lol!

Putin as 2007 Man of the Year? Indefensible!

I think that Time's choice is not entirely indefensible in principle, but it is as a choice for this year. The choice is supposed to represent the person who's made the most impact this year. Putin has done absolutely nothing this year to distinguish himself as a leader (besides be a prig at the G8). Maybe next year, if he hands over the reigns of power smoothly and Russia's recovery continues, then maybe he'd be deserving. But the award is supposed to be about the most impactful person of 2007, and the longer you stretch out the analysis of Putin's reign to support the choice, the less impressive the evidence for this year becomes.

That being said, I think the reason he was chosen is that the Times decision was more superficial than the article makes it appear. For starters, 2005's selection was "you" (pandering) and 2006's was philanthropists (ooh, tough one). To the mass-market audience that reads Time, selecting Gore would've been too similar a theme to 2006's do-gooder winners. Nevermind the fact he made an Oscar-winning documentary about temperature and also won the Nobel prize - that's sooo, like, summertime. Hello! Nobody thinks about melting ice caps in wintertime - it's too cold!

Also, in choosing two positive groups, Time felt it was, well, time for something new, something a bit racy, something that would make its readers feel politically aware ("boy, I've been hearing a lot of things, you know, here and there about Russia recently, but I never knew how big the changes inside really were!") and, at the same time, appeal to the readers who were tired of all the easily-justified choices. Because Putin's Russian has been in the press a lot this year (not as much in the US, but enough to leave that faint impression in people's minds), it was the simplest calculated, just-controversial-enough, choice.

What Would Dennis Miller Pun?

Sir,

I dare say that I nearly did soil myself reading this.

So true it's sad.

The Onion did this one for the Dennis Millulz!

(apparently, a lot of Onion readers would understand his jokes!)

what's next, the royal reality show?

It could be titled "touched by a monarch." Er, wait a tick ...

stewpeed munkeez!

Ha! But I challenge thee, ape, to write the collected works of Shakespeare ... in the original dialect! Mwuahahaha! Speaking of petty, Pavlov-esque experimentations with primates ...

Holiday Incentives
Bah-humbug! Instead of giving to a worthy cause, wouldn't it be more of an incentive if non-comliance meant you funded Al Qaeda instead? I guess in a way a certain type of non-compliance already would - if you chose to drive instead of walk, carpool, or take some other, less-GHG-intensive form of transit (haha, the writer of that site is from Michigan!)

Alas, we can't explicitly link oil money to terrorism, that'd be a discussion too long for our fragile little minds, not to mention wholly unpatriotic!

curr - iculum
On a related note, I should've attended college here! Apparently their entire academic life revolves around Orwell's classic, 1984.

?tekram eerf

Appears to be more effective than a fence!

However, Pearce is quite wrong in ascribing Arizona's potential recovery to the existence of a "free market" system. If it were truly free, you wouldn't need reactive labor laws specifically targeting illegal immigrants - you'd allow anyone who could work to work and let the wages dictate who belongs here and who doesn't. That'd be closer to a free market solution, but we Americans are too free of intelligent thought to actually implement such a solution, even though it'd likely have the same result.

step 3: profit!

I laughed, I cried, I sold many of my shareholdings! haha J/K

don't drink the wa-ater

Heck, don't drink anything, ever out of a hotel glass when you travel. Or, take it as George Carlin would - an opportunity to give your white blood cells some target practice!

34t m3!

What can I say? w00t! Though dictionaries are a bit slow on the uptake there, that word is so 2005! lol

You know what the most surprising thing about this article is? That he wasn't quoted as saying "w00t, I totally pwn'd the fuckin' WH. GW is such a noob. NOOB! lmfao!"

Next month, a 43-year-old man in adult diapers will hack a Department of Defense server to host a game of Starcraft II. From his mother's basement in South Dakota.

Eat At Paul's

I have to admit, this is a creative way to get attention. It could backfire though. Other candidates could mock him for resorting to gimmicks just to get name recognition.

"He had to resort to a blimp, a blimp people! A dirigible! ... May as well have been the Hindenburg because Ron Paul is a closet Nazi! Did I say Nazi? I meant Mormon! No, that's Mitt Romney ... dammit, I can never keep these ass-faced Republican douches in mind. Who sent up the blimp again? Ru Paul? Is Ru Paul running this year? Damn I miss the 80's ... all that blow. All those hook - " [aide cuts mic]

milking the consumer

1 Competition is supposed to drive down prices, unless, of course, firms are competing against each other as to who can screw the consumer the hardest through collusion! Hooray for free markets!

2 BBC's anatomy of what appears to be a disasterously American idiocy.

3 Who says that Americans are largely desensitized to violence? Certainly not the VT victims!

4 Save the environment, eat a kangaroo!

Why do people complain that solutions to being environmentally responsible are costly and all that jazz when they come up with even more convoluted, potentially disastrous solutions? Bacteria in livestock? Yeah, like that's a system we can fully control. Not, you know, the highly mechanized, extremely precise industrial and transportation machinery that is responsible for nearly half of the remaining GHG emissions globally. Also, the solution should not necessarily be just make the livestock flatulate less, but to grow them in an environment that's more conducive to health - also known as eliminating industrialized, "factory" farms. That would help a lot, not that anyone appears to be proposing such a solution with any real vigor.

5 This could've been a straight Onion article, lol. Had they published it in 2006, many people would've laughed at its blatant absurdity.

6 110% dude, WTF? Not a single person needed to use the lavatory OR thought to clean said lavatory in FOUR DAYS? Yeah, mark that on my list as the 1001^th place I need to see before I croak.

7 I'm surprised he didn't just say "E.T. phone home" and cackle at his wit.

hypocrisy, crystallized

Finally - this is exactly my problem with American crony capitalism. When the poor or underprivileged are hurting, it's their own damn fault for not being smarter (reading the fine print, understanding what exactly a variable-rate mortgage entails, etc.). If a business "happens" to profit off that ignorance, well, that's just social Darwinism.

But when it's the mighty who are being screwed, oh how quickly the tables turn. It's not just the big profits of big business that are evil, but the entire insurance industry! What blazing rhetoric! What unbridled hypocrisy! lol

What's not to love about the American system? People wonder why we're so quick to litigate, but my belief is that it's simply because our corporate antagonists have so much greater an upper hand in American than anywhere else that we are more often forced to resort to extreme measures simply to gain some basic injunctions against abuse - injunctions which are commonplace in many other developed nations.

all your fault

So, let me get this straight. A woman educator in Sudan lets her students name a teddy bear 'Mohammed', and she's jailed, convicted, and deported?

A woman is raped, and she's sentenced to jail time because it's her 'fault'?

Why can't logic and religion reside together, in harmony, inside more people's heads? Why do we let such things get in the way of getting along? I know to many people issues of religion are paramount ... but until everyone can manage getting along, can't we leave religion out of the equation? I mean, wouldn't a just and loving almighty deity respect us more for trying to fix our world and enhance our relationships with one another, for mutual gain and respect, than if we just jump right to religious disputes? Shouldn't we save the afterlife and our views of the spiritual realm for the time after we've mastered this corporeal realm?

One would think ...

and now for something totally different!
On a final note, which is the greater tragedy: being murdered by your father, or having your entire life summed up in the following eulogy?

Dunaway said Loebsack, 36, who lived in Gastonia, North Carolina, was married and had two children, ages 8 and 10. "It's a real tragedy. She was a beautiful soccer mom," he said.

all your fault

So, let me get this straight. A woman educator in Sudan lets her students name a teddy bear 'Mohammed', and she's jailed, convicted, and deported?

A woman is raped, and she's sentenced to jail time because it's her 'fault'?

Why can't logic and religion reside together, in harmony, inside more people's heads? Why do we let such things get in the way of getting along? I know to many people issues of religion are paramount ... but until everyone can manage getting along, can't we leave religion out of the equation? I mean, wouldn't a just and loving almighty deity respect us more for trying to fix our world and enhance our relationships with one another, for mutual gain and respect, than if we just jump right to religious disputes? Shouldn't we save the afterlife and our views of the spiritual realm for the time after we've mastered this corporeal realm?

One would think ...

How much is that goose in the window?

The one with the so-o-oft down? haha! Hungary in the news!

Et tu, Truth?
Only Republicans could possibly deride someone for being "too" truthful. I mean, who are they to talk about truthiness when they have so little experience with it themselves? Maybe they lie about how experienced they are in their dealings with, and telling of, the truth? A good lie is better than a bad truth, eh? Well, I find your nonchalant acceptance and implicit promotion of censorship offensive in its own right.

Besides, who but tweaked-out, druggie, high-school kids having gay premarital bestiality sex would honestly look to Bush as a role model? Lawd knows that's all our secular schools are filled with these days - dirty Jesus hating little demons!!

Funny, I don't feel more appreciated
Must be one of those initiatives that pass like a slow burn - you know, like a big fat (legal) Dutch roach! lol

The Dutch Don't Learn
Time to get out the riot gear! I wonder if any of the disenfranchised Parisians will trek over here just to firebomb something?

business model

I'm all too familiar with businesses that have a similar MO.

Wriking Striters Unite!

If Heaven has a web-based, streaming media-content provider based on a popular cable channel show of the same name, then it must be Jon Stewart guarding the pearly gates of that ... I don't know what, lol.

Hypocrisy on tap at Toyota
In unrelated news, fuck Toyota. These shitheads want to talk the talk without walking it now that they've got a #1 auto manufacturer dick to swing that's all but guaranteed them in the next year or so. How can you read this bullshit and not realize the hypocrisy inherent in these statements, namely:

a) Toyota is stalling on CAFE standards as well, which are, um, NATIONAL!

b) Toyota's reluctance to introduce more diesel cars, on the grounds of higher sulfur emissions. Fair enough, but what are the benefits of the greater fuel economy versus something like requiring their vehicles to use low sulfur diesel?

They talk about recycling paper and water at their plants, about all the "options" they're giving consumers to go green (like the new hybrid Lexus that actually burns more fuel on the highway than its regular counterpart), but whereas Toyota used to be the leader, they are fast slipping from that position. Honda already touts that it has the most fuel-efficient fleet in the US (overall), and GM and others are ready to one-up Toyota with things like the Volt - assuming vehicles like that make it to production, which is a big hurdle in the auto industry. Still, Toyota could be doing a lot more, and it's not.

Girls Who Game
If you were ever wondering what a male's concept of a Gamers' Heaven looks like, I believe this is it.

Hell comes later, after you realize the girls can kick your ass! :oP

mad borals

I firmly believe that most of the people who fall for neo-conservative tripe simply cannot read.

No rational person can believe that cutting emissions will not spur American business and innovation. Republicans campaign as "hard-working," but they're intellectually lazy. If you forced Detroit to adhere to higher CAFE standards, how would that put people out of work? That's insane, you'd need to hire more engineers, consultants, and skilled labor to comply with the regulations, not less. Leaving them the same would be the case for corporations (which are supposedly marching relentlessly towards ever more efficient, profitable, and leaner operations) to cut jobs because the processes are well-established and understood.

eat shit OR die

Small difference, but it could enhance your life in the long run. Apparently, there is much truth in jest:



God I love George Carlin. He's actually quite right about germs to "practice on" - of what do you think most vaccines are comprised? There never is any magic bullet in human technology, just deviously clever, one-step-ahead-of-the-curve quick fixes.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed the Dutch police sometimes randomly set up checkpoints to check motor vehicles. Not like, check for drunk drivers check, but check the tires, under the hood, etc. They also set up checkpoints every so often and search everyone coming off the tram (usually the #17 by Hollandspoor in Den Haag). I'm not sure how such searches jive with personal freedoms. I can understand if someone's called in a threat, but I suspect it's more banal than that. I think it's a "random" routine because a lot of expats use that particular tram, so it may either be a target, a former target, or a tactic the police use to keep people feeling safe. Not sure if the latter is a valid reason any longer, because if I am to believe some recent news articles, the Dutch aren't as adamant about all the freedoms (for which they've garnered quite the reputation) as they used to be.

I am your Farker ...

I hereby claim the title Son of Fark: the cultural unlearnings of a man for make great the glorious Internets surface roads.

financial literacy training

People are complaining that credit card companies are poaching college students. I disagree with the proposed remedy, that people need "financial literacy training&qout;. What people need are anti-stupid pills, which would not only allow them to become credit card deadbeats, but also avoid such unnecessarily idiotic statements as:

They should put warnings on credit cards like they do on cigarettes," Rhoades says, "to make sure people know how dangerous the cards are.

Someone help, I used my credit card twice a day for 4 years without having enough income to cover my expenditures. Now I am in debt, and it's all the company's fault. Why did they give me easy access to credit? Why?! Think about that suggestion - the students are already ignoring the writing on the credit card applications, how much more likely are they to read another warning instead of just, um, ignoring it also?

I'm not defending the credit card companies when they are being evil (which, incidentally, they are quite talented at), what I am saying is that children who are attending college should not be so dumb. Shame on them. Just signing up for a card doesn't make you liable for what you do with it, and roughly half of the people who do own credit cards not only manage, they carry little to no debt month-to-month.

the clothes make the corporation after all ...

Wow.

Wow.

So if I wore a shirt that said "cunning stunts," I had better watch out? Maybe I just won't travel. Maybe I should buy the most offensive t-shirt I possibly can for my upcoming trips.

WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH SHEEP!?!? Toughen the fuck up.

On an unrelated note, I wonder if he downloaded Team America: World Police ...

the information superparkinglot

I make the following claims.

1) When you visit such an establishment, dead chickens are not a primary concern for you.

2) Nowhere on the "Information Superhighway" is it stated you have to have a wheelchair ramp like a Target parking lot.

I'm not saying companies shouldn't make the effort, but how much can you expect when you cannot see the visual interface? Are there verbal commands, like "click at the link at the bottom of the page for more results." How would one execute such a command? How does this jive with advertisements and other audio content - does the software displace the original audio of the website?

This case seems akin to saying that movies need to release a DVD that is like an audiobook - someone reads the script that describes the action on-screen. I think that's a bit absurd. Are you going to have BlindTV too? If the screenplay was adapted from the book, just get the audiobook (it'll be better anyway). You can't have equal everything. The deaf have subtitles, but there are no requirements that a movie theatre has to have screenings with subtitles for people who are deaf. I am not saying they couldn't, I'm just saying there is a massive difference between being accomodating and making something mandatory.