One result of this standoff is that the United States, despite being one of the primary authors of the U.N.'s Convention on the Rights of Children, which specifies that governments must take appropriate measures to protect children from "all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation," is one of only two nations that have not ratified it. The other is Somalia; 192 nations have ratified it.
Land of the free (to beat your children). I guess us rednecks worry that wife-beating will be outlawed next. If I don't resort to five across the eyes, I don't know how I'd ever convince that fat slut to crap out six more kids. Now, if I hit her too hard and break her three remaining teeth, so she can barely eat for a week, I might get some capital punishment up in harr, and that's no fun.
Go (black and) Blue!
According to my colleague Liz Gershoff of the University of Michigan, a leading expert on corporal punishment of children, the main arguments that have so far prevented us from ratifying it include the ones you would expect—it would undermine American parents' authority as well as U.S. sovereignty—plus a couple of others that you might not have expected: It would not allow 17-year-olds to enlist in the armed forces, and (although the Supreme Court's decision in Roper v. Simmons has made this one moot, at least for now) it would not allow executions of people who committed capital crimes when they were under 18.
All that fancy Ivory talk, bitch, will get the back of your head pulverized by a well-aimed donkey punch. Now stop jawing with that ugly ol' gap-toothed mug of yours and start working them gums on this here "rod."
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