What is most disturbing to you:

- the fact that Mormon underwear looks like something from Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange,

- the fact that our constitutionally secular nation is hyper-fixated on candidate religion,

- or that the Mormons have an entire website devoted to their undergarments (I've left the link text for effect), http://www.mormon-underwear.com ?

PS - my favorite part of the Slate article linked above:

"Romney's faith is of particular concern to evangelical voters who make up the GOP's key voting bloc—some of whom believe Romney belongs to a cult."

The evangelicals think his religion smacks of cultish tendencies? Spectacular. I don't think I've had enough compassionate hypocrisy just yet today, let's go for one more.

How about righteous indignation at something which displays the degradation of morality within society. Yes, by golly, we are not going to stand idly by and just allow the truth to be told – these blasphemes must be censored for the greater good!

Wait, it's quite likely no evangelicals read that because Silicon Valley is the modern-day Gemorrah. Duh! Let's just blame the liberal media! Yeah, so liberal they failed to make an issue of the well-documented connections between this current unethical Bush administration and the Iran-Contra fiasco. Media bias is not defined as asking pointed questions at a press conference, no matter how much the inept Bush giggles or condescendingly tries to side-step the queries.

Does anyone else notice that? This so-called "average Joe" president is unbelievably smug whenever he talks to the press. I'm sure the idiots not watching at home are probably thinking "yeah, that's it Georgie, you stick it to those Blue-blooded liberal pansies!" Oh wait, these are the same geniuses that need to be told in excruciating detail how driving slower and less often can reduce America's oil dependency, advice which they promptly ignore because they're just one person.

Anyone can complain while in the U.S. – I'm thousands of miles away and it still gets my goat every day! I hope North Korea nukes you to your senses America! You're on notice!

Darwinism strikes again!

Awesome!

... on a related note, Iran has submarines? Not that I care about the excuse, but still, wtf, eh?

The following style is, in a nutshell, why I am such an avid fan of Slate:

"If we had wanted our country to be run by James Baker, we had our chance. He was interested in running for president in 1996 but discovered that his interest in a James Baker presidency was not widely shared." [article]

Oh, I'm sorry, your answer is incorrect. All answers must be stated in the form of an '-izzle'.

The only consolation after Michigan's loss to Ohio State: a 3-point margin of victory signifies domination like 2 percentage points give a "mandate."

It's like they work at my office!. They even published a handy guide to sexual harassment ethics in the workplace.

I feel like my nonsensical writing talent is in danger of being pwnd by spam poetry:

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Man, that is deep. It is so true that "yourself doing is void warranty problems," I've run into that situation many times before!

Many people say there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans. Yes, well, there are some minor ones I happen to like.

Also, some conservative sites keep railing on Rep. Joe Murtha. Granted, the guy made a pretty big mistake, but let's review what the arguments would be if he were a Republican:

- This happened 25 years ago, give it a rest! The fact that it's in the news proves the liberal bias of the media.

- He was never found guilty for any wrongdoing.

- It was a mistake he made early in his career; getting embarrassed like that would make him more ethical because he learned the hard way what a mistake like that can cost him.

And so on. Feel free to add any other excuses that would be used by the GOP were it one of their cronies.

In case there was any confusion over the definition of either "fair" or "balanced", leave it to that bastion of moral integrity, Fox News, to set the world straight. I guess they perceive their organization as being fair in dishing out anti-liberalism, thus balancing the "liberal" media.

Right.

The Dutch are officially nucking futs. Chess + boxing? Brilliant!

Not that this isn't whack either.

Wow ... let the brainwashing begin.

Wired News on e-Voting Paper Trails

I don't understand how anyone can claim that neglecting redundancy in something as critical as voting is a bad idea. This isn't even an argument:

"They're adamant that few voters will actually look at the paper record, negating its usefulness. During a test of paper trails last year in Nevada's primary and presidential elections, election observers estimated that fewer than 30 percent of voters bothered to examine the hard copy."

The usefulness of the paper trail does not lie with the individual voter, it's having the ability to verify the election results. Don't take it from me, take it from Kim Alexander, the founder of the California Voter Foundation:

"'It gives voters the opportunity to verify their vote, but it also gives election officials a meaningful audit trail to verify software vote tallies, and it's that latter purpose that has made the paper trail a no-brainer,' she said." [emphasis added]

This is an equally pathetic argument against paper ballots:

"Critics also say the printers will jam, break down or run out of paper, creating more labor for poll workers. And they argue that an election involving numerous races and candidates would produce an unwieldy paper trail that would be time-consuming for voters to review and difficult for election officials to recount -- especially if the thermal paper used in the printers is tightly curled."

. . .

Let me repeat that - we can't verify the results of the election because the voting machine's paper is just too tightly curled. Sorry. Better luck next election cycle!

These arguments are absurd. They didn't make these types of bullshit arguments when we had no other option but to use paper, why is it all of a sudden such a concern? How much was spent on electronic voting machines and how much labor goes into their technical support? Furthermore, who can honestly say they prefer an unproven technology that is demonstrably insecure with no backup or a backup? I guess scumbags like Diebold have no problem saying such things ...

So who says they're sucesptible to manipulation? Hell, even Fox News covered the topic (albeit with a ... well, believably biased headline).

Also consider Ars Technica's guide to stealing an election, the State of Florida's refusal to return to Diebold, and Princeton University's security analysis for electronic voting. But of course you, my dear John Q. Public, you alone are smarter than all of those ivory-tower types scattered across the internet and, um, at Fox News, and you know your vote will be counted correctly. Well, you sure can go home smug in your smartness, especially if you're one of the 18,000 or so Florida voters whose ballots were lost this election cycle. Brilliant.

I don't understand - just because our brains function as a collective "DEE-dee-dee!", that is no excuse for our elections to be less transparent than, say, Kyrgyzstan.

These security issues with electronic voting have been well-documented since the 1980s, and yet we are still have not implemented appropriate checks and balances two decades later.

What is wrong with people? What's next, voting through TiVo?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Aha! Anecdotal support for my earlier missive on Fortune's oil article.

Also, Bush may not read newspapers (or online news, like the BBC), but maybe he watches The Simpsons. At any rate, I think I've discovered the secret of "cool".

Marge: I just don't understand what 'being cool' means. Kids, am I cool?
Bart and Lisa (look at each other, then simultaneously reply): No.
Marge: Well, I don't care. I don't care whether I'm cool or not ... and that makes me cool, right?
Bart and Lisa (bored, simultaneously): No.

You know what makes a nation cool? In how many ways it can subvert international treaties, such as the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, as appears hell-bent on doing with India and Pakistan.

Actually, he probably never read the treaty because he used "new-cue-lar" in his Google search.

Download my new hit single!

this is the blog that no one reads
it is written by a guy named Steve
he, started writing it not knowing what it was
and he'll continue writing it forever just because

[repeat, with variations]

this is the blog that no one reads
it is written by a dork named Smeve
people started ignoring it, knowing what it was
and they'll continue ignoring forever just because ...

LOL!

Everything you need to know about why Bush was an abject failure at business:

"The president talked repeatedly about 'benchmarks' for progress in Iraq, using that word 13 times. But he did not discuss the consequences of the Iraqi government missing those targets. Such a question, he said, was 'hypothetical.'"

Logically equivalent to the exchange:

"But sir, what happens if people don't buy 15,000,000 widgets next quarter?"

...

"Aw, now that's just bollocks."

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."
H. L. Mencken

Similar things could be said about the American political system. I just watched a piece on CNN where a conservative radio host accused Michael J. Fox of "exaggerating" his symptoms from Parkinson's Disease. I looked it up online when I got home from work, and who is responsible but that perennial imbecile, Rush Limbaugh.

I guess there really is nothing more American than shifting from a clear, logical discussion of the issues to baseless and absurd personal attacks.

But wait, there's more! That standard-bearer of professional journalism, MSNBC, had the following informal poll:


I think that each of those (approximately) 68,288 people should be indiscriminately injected with PD as retribution for their incomprehensible ignorance. What's next, ignoring the medical advice of "activist doctors"?

As a further lesson in coping with ignorance, Rush Limbaugh should be injected with the disease (what's another high for that druggie anyway?) and his degeneration should be filmed and put on YouTube.

Then again, maybe I should reconsider the severity of the punishment. I mean, since when has hypocritical intolerance not been a core American political and social value?

And of course: al-Qaeda bombs us because they envy our freedom.

On a humorous note, if this doesn't cheer you up a tiny bit and make you laugh, nothing will: How to Prank a Telemarketer

european attitudes toward sex, I

One of the women in HR had to leave our office's Friday night gathering at the pub because she had to go to a dildo party.

She told this to a group of 4 male co-workers, one of whom shied away from putting his dick onto a bar stool earlier in the conversation. At her challenge. After calling another one of the guys a pussy (all of this in jest of course).

I love it.

You don't have to be a prude to find this extremely disconcerting.

I do have to ask, however, why flaunting sexuality is still such a taboo, even in Europe (granted, it's Britain). Selling young children a variety of toy weapons is considered perfectly acceptable on the part of Tesco. If toys are so influential, then why are nations having such trouble recruiting volunteer armies? Certainly the children in the United States are exposed to more simulated violence than almost anywhere else on the planet, yet recruiting by all branches of the military is proving extremely difficult.

Let's follow that hypocrisy with a Catch-22. Consider for a moment that the toys are, in fact, extremely influential on future behavior. In the grand scheme of things, what's worse: having loose morals concerning whom you try to fuck or whom you try to kill?

Where do you want to demolish MSNBC today? How about this gem:

"The story of his journey to the political center sheds light on why control of the Senate and the shape of the final years of Bush's presidency may rest on a thousand or so votes tucked in the lush planes and hills between the mud of the Mississippi and the rise of the Great Smoky Ridge."

Are planes a cash crop for Tennesseeans? I don't recall ...

This is quite possibly the largest load of shit to come out of Iraq since we invaded.

Simply illogical.

"But what I can say is what the prime minister is aiming for is to have one voice reflecting accurate information about the statistics of those who are dying every day" - okay, who has it?

"So, the concern was that the Ministry of Health, which has had accurate figures to date, be the official source of the information." - okay, so the Ministry of Health has accurate information ... and you want whom to give the information? Oh, right, in order to avoid putting too much bureaucracy into the process, you've decided to add an extra, purely political layer onto the information:

"The leader of the Health Ministry in Iraq appealed to be allowed to continue supplying the figures to the United Nations but was turned down according to a subsequent letter from the prime minister’s office, Mr. Qazi’s cable said."

Hmmm ... and of course this has nothing AT ALL to do with the Republicans (because the vast majority of politicans who shaped the Iraqi government are Democrats, naturally) trying to minimize the damage that, gee, 3 years have gone by and we're still in Iraq and all these civilians seem to keep dying for no good reason.

Where logic fails, corruption fills the gaps.